3 January 2013

noun \?di-s?-pl?n\

1. training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character

2. control gained by enforcing obedience or order

3. self-control

DisciplineSince the summer of 2012, I have lacked discipline. Not all the time, but too much of the time. I have let my weight do the slow crawl back up. While I was at 209 at the beginning of the summer, I am somewhere close to 220 now.

With the new year, I was, of course, thinking about this and making a resolution to lose weight. As I thought about it, I wondered if doing that is what I really needed to resolve to do. Is there something more I needed to resolve to do.

The word “discipline” kept coming to my mind.

Not to resolve to lose weight, but resolve to be disciplined in what and how much I eat.

Not to resolve to exercise more, but resolve to be disciplined in my exercise regimen.

I like it. There is almost a manly warrior feeling to it.

So for me, 2013 will be the year of DISCIPLINE. (picture me here with a steely-eyed look)

I Have Issues

27 November 2012

My life…

Eating lots of food makes me happy.

Eating lots of food makes me unhappy.

I am very happy WHILE I am eating it. I enjoy it very much. So much that I eat way too much. However, after stopping, I am quite unhappy. Ashamed I ate so much, I feel fat and physically feel uncomfortable.

So doing one thing makes me happy and unhappy.

The problem here is that the happy comes BEFORE the unhappy. All the happy I get makes me not think about the unhappy that is coming. Every time I get to the unhappy, I tell myself I have to remember this before next time. I just never do. Or, I choose to not think about it. I have issues!

Over Thanksgiving, I knew I would be eating food I don’t normally eat. I told myself to just be reasonable. Eat a plate, enjoy it and be satisfied. But no, I have to go back for more and more until I get to the unhappy.

I have a switch. When I turn that switch off and allow myself to eat bad foods, I have trouble turning the switch back on. When the switch is off, I want as much as I can get while it is off!

My prayer during this holiday season is that God will remind me of the unhappy BEFORE the happy and that I will not ignore it.


28 September 2012

imageMy diet was going so-so before last Friday. I was doing pretty good, but not great and was not really losing any weight. My running, on the other hand, was going well. Friday night, I was up to running 28 minutes straight.

However, on that run, I had some significant pain in my left foot. I almost had to stop. However, I pushed through and it totally went away and I continued. I did not notice any other problems until that night right before bed where I noticed my foot was a bit sore. During the night, however, when I got up to go to the restroom, I could barely walk it hurt so bad.

So something went wrong. I figured I would give it a few days and see if it felt better. In the mean time, my diet took a turn for the better.

Not sure exactly what changed, but something clicked. I was all the sudden dedicated to doing what I have long said I was dedicated to. Only eating when I was hungry and when I eat, controlling what and how much. I have since had an unbelievable week of doing this.

So something about this foot injury helped me to focus. I still cannot explain it.

My foot is now feeling much better. I don’t have any pain in it. I am a little concerned about running again since I don’t really know what I did. I guess I will just have to hit the pavement and see how it goes.

As far as my weight, I have not stepped on a scale. I was very tempted to this morning, but I was afraid if I did not see enough of a loss, my spirit would be crushed. So I am not going to for a while. Not much point anyway. I am doing all I can do. The loss will come from God in His time.


30 August 2012

imagesLast Sunday night, our church had its now annual Hamburger Throw Down & Cupcake Wars. I was there and I ate nothing. No hamburgers. No cupcakes. I was proud of myself.

Tonight, I am sitting in my office at the church after hours. Our server has decided to act up and being that it our server, it is difficult to work on during the day when people need it. It is going to require a bunch of reboots and possibly restoring from backups. Stuff that takes a lot of time.

As I sit here, I know for a fact that two whole trays of leftover cupcakes are sitting in the refrigerator in the church kitchen. They are there, and they are calling my name. All I want to do is go in there and eat 10 to 15 of those puppies.

So I figured I would right this post before I talked myself in to eating any and perhaps this would help.

This is the world I live in. I constantly think about food. I love to eat. Yes, I am a food addict.

How will things turn out tonight? Well, only time will tell. But I am feeling pretty strong right now.


16 August 2012

Well, after a family vacation and a few days at a conference in Dallas (and a few other days here and there), I am currently up to 217. Before all that I was at 209. I am now back to work on it.

I really have not felt comfortable at all. Clothes just a little too tight. Feeling sluggish. Just feeling fat again. I don’t like it and do not want to stay here. This week has been really good. I have eaten well every day. Just need to keep it going, and that is the hardest part.

It amazes me how hard it is now. It use to be so much easier. Diet one day and be down a pound the next. Now, I am lucky to see the scale go down a pound in a week. It is really taking much more patience and trust in God.

Just do my part, He will do His.

Just do my part, He will do His.

Just do my part, He will do His.

I have also not been running since the last week in June. With my two trips and then the massive summer heat, I just decided to take some time off. Running has never contributed much to my weight loss. I do it more for just keeping the body moving and more healthy. I noticed the weather outlook is showing some cooler weather for the next few days, so it may be time to hit the pavement again. Little scared to find out how much endurance I have lost. But I will build it back.

So, here I go.

Avoiding Ruts

12 July 2012

rutsWhen you drive down a road with wheel ruts, the ruts really pull you in. It is much more difficult to drive outside the ruts.

Before we left on vacation a couple of weeks ago, I felt like I had been stuck in a rut for a while. The same old things over and over.

Coming back from vacation, without even thinking too much about it, I found myself trying to stay out of those ruts. I was trying to do things differently just to keep things from going back to the ruts. I came home after ten days of no ruts and wanted to try and keep that as long as possible.

One small example, I usually listen to sports radio. I am not a big sports guy, but I liked listening to it. Since coming back home, I have not changed the channel off of Christian music. I  guess a small part of me is worried that is the ruts trying to get me.

The ruts are powerful. They are the easiest place to live and they try to pull you back into them.

I am going to keep trying to stay out of them. Maybe even create some good ruts.

My Current Favorite Song To Run To

14 June 2012

Here are the lyrics. I change a word in this song as I listen while I am running. You can see it below…

Never Once by Matt Redman

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever [run] alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever [run] alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever [run] alone

Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never [run] alone

Never once did we ever [run] alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Nothing Much New

26 April 2012

imageNot much to write about concerning my weight loss journey. Again, I have been doing very well on controlling what I eat. I have really focused lately on making sure I am really hungry before I eat anything. The way I do this is that before I get something to eat, I have to tell God that I am really hungry. So I either have to be hungry or choose to lie to God.

My running is also gone extremely well. I finally beat the 29 minute mark with a time of 28:45. Since then, I have been slowing myself down since doing that time just about killed me. I am still getting under 30 minutes every time.

As for my weight, still holding steady. Was at 208 this morning. Looks like I will not be reaching my goal of 200 by May 5th. I am okay with that. I will just keep on doing what I am suppose to do.

Not The Same Anymore

29 March 2012

In my past weight loss, I got into a rhythm. I would eat very well all week long, then on Friday’s I would have a splurge meal for dinner. This worked great for me. I lost weight. It gave me something to look forward to each week.

This does not seem to work well anymore.

Last Friday, I was down to 207. I finally broke the 209 I was stuck on for a month. As it so happens, we went out with some friends and I splurged. Not as much as I have in the past, but more calories than I normally have.

I expected to be up in weight for the next day or two. That is the way it always happened and sure enough I was. But now I am here, 6 days later and still sitting at the dreaded 209. It just does not work the same anymore.

I am not sure what to do now. It would be very, very difficult to maintain my normal daily diet without ever having a splurge now and then. Then again, maybe that is what I need. Maybe God is wanting me to show that I control what I eat, it does not control me. I dunno.

I am only 37 days until May 5th when I am suppose to be at 200. It will take a miracle.

Working Hard and Hardly Working

1 March 2012

After getting to my first goal weight of 209 a few weeks ago, I instantly began working on the final 9 pounds to have off my May 5th.

I have done very well eating. I have stuck to my eating plan. I am running three nights a week.

This morning I was at 209. That’s right, almost a month into it, I have not lost any weight. I have dipped below 209 a few times, but it inexplicitly comes back.

I’m okay with it. I am doing my part, I will let God do His. But now He only has two months to get 9 pounds off. Winking smile

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